Just a mild rant, here...why write about sex? Why not?

True story.

A few years ago I was a member of an email group for aspiring writers of all genres. One of the group members sent an email asking for help writing sex scenes for her romance novel. She'd never done one before and she was wondering where to start. I obligingly sent a response email to the group with several suggestions and tips.

Sheesh! From the group's response you'd think she was an Al Qaida operative and I'd sent her tips on how to make a bomb. The group lambasted her for her willingness to sacrifice her novel's integrity by turning it into a porn rag and for gratuitiously going for cheap sex. As for me, I was branded a pornographer (not that that's a bad thing, but it wasn't intended as a compliment) and, worse, I was bringing an aspiring real writer down with me into the muck. Not sure if the group was trying to make me a pimp or a panderer, or a pedophile. I was definitely a corruptive influence upon the woman to whom I was trying to give (solicited) advice, and upon the group as a whole.

Needless to say, I quit the email group. I've got better ways to waste my time than to put up with that kind of shit. I did, however, get a private email from the writer who'd unwittingly started all the trouble, thanking me for my advice.

Why write about sex? For me, the basic answer is simple; because I like reading about it. Almost as much as I like doing it. And, frankly, there's not enough sex-related literature out there, IMHO. Non-fiction, or otherwise. For me, one of the frustrating things about documenting the War On Whoopie is that the very topic of S-E-X is so mortifying to most people they can't even discuss the issue unless it's late at night, the kids are in bed, and everyone's had at least a couple of shots of liquid courage.

It's easy to fall back on the topic of sex itself as taboo, where even a brief discussion brings out the prudes with their arguments that sex is a cheap way to score a few readers or viewers.

I say that's bullshit. In fact, a few generous dollops of sex here and there add spice to what we read, view, or listen to. People don't watch "Desperate Housewives" because of the well-manicured lawns. I write about sex because I like reading about sex and discussing sex. Sex is one of the two great passions of life. Why not write about it? Very few things evoke so many extreme emotions, good and bad.

Some people say the extremity of those emotions is what's so bad about sex. Nobody's into subtlety, anymore. Why must depictions of sex be so graphic?

Well, the goal of the story or picture is to attract attention, isn't it? And let's face it; demure or tactful doesn't get you airtime. Shock value works because it works. And maybe if more frank discussion and images about sex are more prevalent, it won't be suck a big deal anymore.

I'm willing to take that chance. I don't mind being considered too direct for polite society. Polite society is boring.

Let's talk about sex, Baby.