They're bringing out the Big Guns, now.
Satan Announces Opposition To Gay Marriage
by Toby Barlow
In a crowded press conference early Tuesday morning, Satan announced his disavowal of both gay marriages and civic unions. "I know there is are a lot of people who might think I'm in favor of this," he said, "but you couldn't be more wrong. My perfect world involves the fevered debasement of flesh and the absolute corruption of the spirit, not two happy people living out in the suburbs building a life together.
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During the Q&A Satan was asked if he considered state-sanctioned civil unions to be a reasonable compromise. He replied no, because even though it wasn't a spiritual act like marriage, in his eyes any acceptance of love was strictly forbidden, especially if it came with good health insurance. The only behavior he could endorse, he said, were acts that promoted hate and misery, along with any prejudices that ripped communities apart.
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