I Heart Huckabee---NOT

This is, of course, a sex AND politics blog...

In case you've been living in a cave for the past year, (and I don't blame you), the Iowa Presidential caucuses are tomorrow.

As far as the Democrats are concerned, I don't have a favorite right now, because any of the candidates would be better than the talking chimp in the White House now.

However, hard as it is to believe, the Republican candidates could actually be worse.

One in particular, Mike Huckabee, scares the hell out of me, right now. Why? He could actually win.

McCain's running out of money; after he flops in New Hampshire, he'll bow out.

Romney's campaign won't make it to Valentine's Day. In fact, he's going to be watching the Super Bowl with his feet up and a beer in his hand, being secretly grateful that whole thing's over.

Thompson, Paul, and most of the rest will be toast before long, as well.

Huckabee, however, is in it to stay. He's got the big mo, and, more importantly, he seems to have struck a chord with the Holy Terrors. They're the power behind the Republican Party. They're the ones who need to have their collective dicks sucked, but good, and Huckabee's been blowing them better than most.

That's because he's a True Believer. Bushco's been whoring themselves for the Holy Terrors, but you always had a sense he didn't really believe their line of bullshit.

However, Huckabee's an ordained Southern Baptist Minister, so he's got the necessary credentials, in the eyes of Dobson, Pat Robertson, et al., to be the G.O.P.'s standard bearer.

Unfortunately, Huckabee's also crazy as a shithouse rat.Part of the problem with being a true believer is the willingness to abandon logic, common sense, facts, and even reality. While that's perfectly fine in a neighbor, a preacher, or even a close relative, (Sorry, Uncle Jim), but in a President, it's downright scary.

According to Matt Taibbi's Rolling Stone article, (linked above), Mike's sincere when he rants about intelligent design, the allegedly coming Rapture, and science. What makes it worse is Huckabee's attitudes toward sex and women.

See? Told ya the sex part was coming.

Back in 1998, Huckabee signed off on a statement endorsing the Southern Baptist Convention's position that “A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband, even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.”

There we have it, ladies and gentlemen. Mike Huckabee, one of the sharpest minds of the 13th Century.

But wait, there's more. Huckabee's also gone on the record as equating homosexuality with necrophilia, and on Meet The Press the other day, he stated that "While I don’t know whether people are born that way, but one thing I know, that the behavior one practices is a choice.”

I'm of two minds about the Huckster. On the one hand, if he wins the Republican nomination, he's so far out there he'll hopefully scare the shit out of reasonable people and the Democratic nominee will roll to an easy victory. And it's not just about the Neanderthal attitudes about sex and women. There are loads of ugly skeletons in Huckabee's closet that are just itching to get out and dance around a while. (More on that later).

On the other hand, the S.O.B. just might win the whole shebang. THEN, we're in trouble.