A Primer On The War On Whoopie

I'm coming up on a year since my first post, and I thought it'd be a good idea to re-iterate some of the basic principles and notions that are behind what I tend to rant about.

First, we are at war here in the U.S. On one side we have decent society, normal, polite, respectful people, people who say, "Whatever consenting adults choose to do to get their rocks off is their own damn business and none of mine. I won't stick my nose through their bedroom window and I hope they'll do the same for me. I may not understand my neighbors' kinks and turn-ons and hang-ups, but I don't need to understand. If you mind your own business, I'll mind my own business, and we'll all be happy."

Then, there's the other side. I call them the "Holy Terrors." They're religious fundamentalists who hide behind the Bible and use a warped, sanctimonious version of their so-called faith to justify breaking down bedroom doors and shoving their self-righteous, depraved moral turpitude down everyones' throats.

The Holy Terrors, and their designated whores, the mainstream Republican Party, have determined that if it isn't for the express purpose of having chindren, within the bonds of marriage, sex is depraved and evil and must be outlawed. Any sort of "fun" element of sex must be banned. Sex education must be banned. Preventative measures such as HPV vaccines and contraception will only encourage sex, and can't be tolerated. Sex toys, masturbation, kink, and pornography must be made illegal as they inject a little fun into sex, and we can't have anything fun about sex going on. Homosexuality is a special bugaboo. Since the Bible says it's bad, it's bad, and three thousand years of human development and understanding about homosexuality make no difference. Homosexuality is an abomination so we have to treat homosexuals as second-class citizens. Gay marriage is even worse. If we allow homosexuals to behave like normal people, well, they'll start acting like normal people, and they're not. Worse, letting gay people marry will irreparably sabotage the institution for us God-fearing, righteous, one man-one woman unions. We don't know how it will do it, but it just will.

In short, the Holy Terrors oppose any form of sex which isn't "married-making-babies" sex. If it's fun, or a little kinky, or just something consenting adults want to do to enjoy themselves and others, it's bad. I've dubbed their campaign, "The War On Whoopie."

"Whoopie" is anything that puts a little, "Whoo-hoo! That was FUN!" into sex, as opposed to the simple procreative act. I'd rather call it a "War On Fucking" but "whoopie" is a more PG-13 term.

The Holy Terrors' purpose is nothing less than reducing society to a dull, lifeless existence, to reducing sex to a purely mechanical, procreative act, and reducing women to baby-making machines. Shades of Orwell's "1984."

The purpose of this blog is to catalog some of the Holy Terrors' outrages, and to give a forum for the voice of reason, sanity, and decency in this War On Whoopie.

Carry on. More later.